So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize