shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
