He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize