Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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