Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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