wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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