he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
