so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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