What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
