that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
