fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
