I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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