Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
