OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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