So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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