"it" just moved
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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