I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
