Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
