so explain again why im purple
no
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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