HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
