p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
