Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize