I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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