Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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