at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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