Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just had sex bonerless
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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