You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
