I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
