how can u be prego again
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
