There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
