You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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