Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
