Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
is it fun? or sober?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize