arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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