Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
