Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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