I just saw a hot homeless man
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
