I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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