Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
