I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
