Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
