I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
