Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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