Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir! http://tfl.nu/b2ab
  Replies (18) Good night (2874) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol. http://tfl.nu/ssjg
  Replies (11) Good night (3939) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships... http://tfl.nu/1r9u
  Replies (43) Good night (3360) Bad night (6889)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement. http://tfl.nu/2u7j
  Replies (29) Good night (2725) Bad night (4973)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3720) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage http://tfl.nu/qnyx
  Replies (3) Good night (2023) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (12) Good night (3427) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today? http://tfl.nu/zwes
  Replies (5) Good night (1936) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2178) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face. http://tfl.nu/vgja
  Replies (12) Good night (3632) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed... http://tfl.nu/6d23
  Replies (4) Good night (1190) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey. http://tfl.nu/5gwc
  Replies (4) Good night (2084) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you. http://tfl.nu/5i3v
  Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on http://tfl.nu/z8s8
  Replies (4) Good night (604) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious. http://tfl.nu/pknw
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (575)

Randomize