Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
