Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.

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  (512): Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka. http://tfl.nu/j6vt
  Replies (19) Good night (4395) Bad night (657)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1370) Bad night (3821)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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  (778): we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/5buf
  Replies (8) Good night (4061) Bad night (838)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.

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  (416): He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex. http://tfl.nu/exbo
  Replies (24) Good night (4182) Bad night (1000)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.

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  (757): I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game. http://tfl.nu/w4nu
  Replies (16) Good night (975) Bad night (2595)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?

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  (+61): She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental? http://tfl.nu/sd8n
  Replies (21) Good night (1345) Bad night (2632)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1826) Bad night (364)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.

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  (780): I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall. http://tfl.nu/azun
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (510)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.

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  (954): Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake. http://tfl.nu/0nfr
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (293)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm okay with that.

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  (215): This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something. (267): I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/qf21
  Replies (6) Good night (892) Bad night (659)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

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  (843): Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors http://tfl.nu/kni1
  Replies (12) Good night (420) Bad night (1489)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool

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  (403): Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool http://tfl.nu/mskr
  Replies (4) Good night (229) Bad night (506)
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  (661): View more from California

  TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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  (661): TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us! http://tfl.nu/7jy3
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (181)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.

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  (306): just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute. http://tfl.nu/w8bj
  Replies (6) Good night (190) Bad night (576)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$

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  (304): I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$ http://tfl.nu/l4gn
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (139)

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