What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
