Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But theres a keg here and me gusta
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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