Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
