Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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