Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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