guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
