so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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