I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
