why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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