i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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