i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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