how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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