dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
