bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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