is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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