Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
