Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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