after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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