No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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