Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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