I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh god it's open bar.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
