whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
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Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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